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[burntvideocassette]

"This is, uh. It's Jay. Leave a message, and I'll try to get back to you."

[voice/text/video/action/anything]

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[voice]

[punful]

[It's honestly a terrible thing to say to anyone. It's the worst four words in the world. He doesn't even have to hear any real anxiety in Jay's voice to know the sort of dread those words instill.]

[He sighs quietly. With any luck--haha, not likely--this will be relatively simple.]

first, uh. i know i apologized at the time, but i wanted to apologize again. for appearing out of thin air like that. it'd be scary for anyone, but uh...now that i got my memories back and understand the...context again, i realize it woulda been...heh. a helluva lot more than just scary.

[He's not sure how much Jay knows about--that thing that scares Tim so much, but he knows that Jay is at least aware of it. Which means that having a pale-faced stranger teleporting into his personal space without warning would be utterly, utterly terrifying. As horrible as it was for Tim, maybe.]

just want you to know it won't happen again. unless wonderland pulls some more shit like this.

[Sans wonders distantly if this is going to be one more person whose trust he's lost.]

[voice]

[burntvideocassette]

[Sans isn't angry. He's apologizing.]

[Unfortunately, this is terrifying for an entirely new reason. Jay sits up straighter, his voice wary and intent.]

Wait, how much do you know about the context?

[voice]

[punful]

[Aw, fuck his entire life.]

i...shit. i thought you knew.

look, i don't...know much. because i haven't asked tim for any details. i don't really want to know, frankly. but back during that event with the tower, and the creatures on different floors? i saw--uh. that thing. or at least...it looked like it. there were shapeshifters during that event, so i don't think it was the real version. and tim mentioned that it could teleport. so...

[He goes quiet for a moment and sighs again.]

tim...doesn't like it when i teleport, either. i've tried to be more careful. you guys had that fight during the truth event, so i...i thought you knew that i had an idea of what was up.

...sorry for assuming.

[voice]

[burntvideocassette]

[He's seen it.]

[He's seen it.]

[Jay let slip that there was a thing back home but maybe it could've been forgotten. Maybe they wouldn't have picked up on the meaning.]

[Always was an optimist, wasn't he?]

[And Tim knew. Tim knew he'd seen it. Tim knew there was another person here involved in this mess, and he didn't say anything. Just decided not to mention it.]

[Fuck.]

[He buries his face in his hands, forces himself to breathe.]

[Tim didn't--]

[Tim didn't have to tell him.]

[He wasn't obligated to tell him.]

[Tim mentioned that it could teleport, but who's the one who dragged it into the conversation last October, huh? Who's the one who started running his mouth? Sure, it might not have made sense to somebody without the context, but to somebody who's seen it?]

[Maybe Tim assumed he already knew. Maybe Tim gave him an explanation, after Jay said too much.]

[This isn't Tim's fault, is it?]

[It's both of them.]

Sorry.

[It's quiet, mumbled behind his hands.]

I'm sorry.

[It hurts. His chest aches and he can feel his face flushing and it's a small mercy Sans decided not to use video.]

[But there's something good wound up in it, too. It pulls together a narrative. It makes things make sense. Something bad happened, and it's somebody's fault, rather than it just being just something that happened because the world's chaotic and meaningless and sometimes people decide that killing their friends makes them a hero and sometimes the monster outside a sick kid's window was real all along and sometimes just trying to capture it all on film makes it worse.]

[Might not be true, though, that's the trouble. It's never that simple.]

[Jay takes in a deep breath, and the sound is wet and ugly and obvious.]

've you been sick? Fever, chills, that kind of thing?

[Do monsters get sick?]

[voice] fuck me i'm loving all of this

[punful]

[There's a very long silence and Sans realizes that he's fucked up a whole lot more than he originally thought. Because of course he has, when is he not fucking up? Shouldn't have called Jay. Shouldn't have said a goddamn word. Every time he tries to fix anything at all, he just breaks it even worse.]

[He drags a hand across his face with a rasp of bone against bone.]

jay...?

[He answers eventually. At least he didn't hang up. It sounds like he might be having a breakdown, but at least he's still putting up with Sans.]

[He apologizes just like Tim did.]

no. i've been fine. tim mentioned that too, but i've been fine, jay. i don't think the version of the thing i saw was...real enough. those shapeshifters, they could take on the look of things, but not their abilities. whatever that thing is, it either wasn't potent enough or--maybe it just doesn't affect monsters. i'd--heh. i'd already be dead, otherwise.

[He pauses.]

i know tim blames himself, and i don't know if you do too, but it's fine. i'm fine, okay? you didn't do anything.

[This goes back to long before Tim and Jay, anyway. Alex was the same way, and Alex was the only one who threatened Papyrus and almost shot Sans.]

[The one good takeaway here is that Jay seems to understand the importance of discretion when it comes to these things.]

listen...that stuff isn't the only reason i called.

Re: [voice] emphatic SAME

[burntvideocassette]

[It's fine. He's fine. Jay didn't do anything. It's a comforting lie, he knows, but there's some truth in it. He's not sick (yet). The thing he saw wasn't real--might've even been the same one he and Tim saw--so maybe it didn't hurt him the same way. He knows about that thing, he's had extended contact with the two of them, but maybe it's not gonna get any worse.]

[Maybe it's complicated, and maybe, for once, that's a good thing.]

[Tim blames himself (because of course he does). Sans would be dead if it affected monsters. Jay files it all away.]

[Then, Sans hits him with a hook. This isn't the only reason. There's something else he wants to say, and now he has Jay's full attention.]

Why'd you call?

[voice]

[punful]

[Nothing is ever simple.]

[Sans sighs again. He remembers things Tim has said, about how Jay always needs to dig into things, learn the truth, figure out the mysteries. He's like George. He's like the kids. Sans is gonna tell him this, and it's just gonna pique his interest, like it did with Frisk. And maybe it won't affect him the same way since they're from different worlds, but there's no guarantee. He can't dig into the bones of the world from here in Wonderland.]

[But Wonderland might always just bring it here. And then what?]

the...stuff i told you. at the time--back then, i mean--it had all just happened, and i hadn't had time enough to really see the effects. when i told you that stuff, i didn't know any better. hell, from that perspective, you were--the first person i told about any of it. which was...wow. a real relief at the time.

you can't...

[No. Ask. It's Jay's choice. He can't go for intimidation, can't go for ultimatums, he's trying to be better.]

please don't tell anyone about what i told you. not even tim. the stuff about the experiment, and the doctor i mentioned. it's dangerous stuff. you'll probably find it all starting to slip out of your head, and...you should let it. thinking about that stuff too hard is...i've seen it really hurt people. just the information itself can hurt people. so...please, just. don't tell anyone, okay?

[voice]

[burntvideocassette]

[It was a relief, Sans says, like maybe this one time, Jay managed to do something right. He actually helped Sans feel a little better. Jay's not an emotional guy--he doesn't think he's an emotional guy--but that's a strange relief to hear.]

[But then he makes a request. He asks Jay not to tell anyone about the doctor--]

[The doctor? No, no, wait. It rings a bell. The experiment, and the doctor he mentioned. He mentioned an experiment, something about an experiment, something that went wrong, but it's--]

[No.]

[It's there. He knows it's there, but it's fragmented, like the memories won't connect up the way they're supposed to. Remembering one thing doesn't lead to the rest, and trying just sends a twinge of pain up the back of his neck. This isn't familiar. This isn't trying to think back to how he got here and coming up blank. It's like that time he yanked the SD card out while the camera was still running. It's like the times he had to piece together footage when the tapes were sun-damaged and caked with dirt.]

[It's like the memory's corrupted.]

[The information itself can hurt people, he says, and Jay's already starting to understand how. The decay hasn't spread beyond that one memory, not that he's noticed, but the idea that it could terrifies him.]

[What's even worse, though, is the idea he could forget it ever happened. There's this thing--this threat out there, whatever it is--and it could hurt more people, and if Jay lets himself forget, then he won't be able to do a thing about it. If he knows about it, then he can help. If people know, they can protect themselves.]

[After this conversation's over, he's winding back the tape.]

[His head's fucked enough already, right? If somebody else has to remember this, it might as well be him.]

[He's not going to let it infect Tim, though. He's not stupid. But he's not going to just let it "slip out of his head", either.]

[Finally, Jay sighs, lifting the phone again.]

Look, I get--I get why I shouldn't talk about it. I can feel--I mean, I get it.

But the thing with Tim is... [Jay runs a shaking hand through his hair, knocking the hat off his head.] Look, we've got kind of a history with hiding stuff from each other.

[His voice dips lower.] 'F you hadn't guessed that already.

[He continues, more sincere.] And I guess we're trying to make that...not happen so much. And I dunno, but if it were me, and I found out Tim knew about something this--this dangerous, I guess, and he didn't even, like...hint at it, I'd probably get kinda pissed off. 'Cause if I knew there was something, I'd know to be careful.

So--so I'm not asking to tell Tim...this. Because yeah, if he knows about it, it's probably gonna do to him the same thing it's doing to me.

[And there he goes, admitting it. Admitting this stuff got to him. He's not like Tim--not exactly, anyway--but sure. It got to him.]

Or worse, I guess.

But...look. If I tell him there's something he can't know, 'cause it's dangerous, I don't...like, he's not really the kind of guy to take that as an invitation. So, is it safe for me to say that much? To--to Tim, at least, not just anybody off the street.

[voice]

[punful]

[He can practically hear the gears in Jay's head turning from here. He wonders again if maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all. But then Jay would probably start feeling the memory start to fragment and dissipate and freak out, maybe assume that it had more to do with his own world's...issues, rather than Sans's. The guy doesn't need yet another thing to be paranoid about.]

[He answers eventually, and Sans stays quiet. Jay makes a good point. A very good point. Sans knows he's probably being overly cautious, since neither Tim nor Jay are from his world. There isn't the same context, the same problem of coming up against some horrific reality about how your world actually functions.]

[People have said before, right to Sans's face, that his world sounds like some kind of game. It's a thousand times easier to think that someone else's world might just be some kind of...fiction, than it is to think about your own. Sans can think about it these days without losing his freaking mind, at least, but that doesn't mean he likes it. Or ever does it willingly.]

[He just can't help but remember what both Chara and Frisk ended up doing with the information that an entire person can be excised, albeit imperfectly, from the universe. And he can't help but remember begging Tim not to go in the woods, before everything went so utterly wrong.]

[Jay even admits that it's already affecting him.]

i...

[He gives a very heavy, very tired sigh.]

i get it. i do. keeping secrets is... i'm trying to break that habit myself. and you're right. tim...understands this sorta thing. how knowledge itself can be--dangerous. and the fact that neither of you are from my world works to your benefit. shouldn't affect you nearly as bad.

so...it's probably safe to tell him that much. 'sides, if it ever came out some other way, i wouldn't want him to think it was connected to--your world's stuff. i saw how spooked you got. knowing about this stuff isn't gonna summon anything, not like that. it just--starts to get hazy, starts to slip out, and it makes folk wanna dig deeper. and trying to wrap your head around something that doesn't exist and never did? it's impossible. you can drive yourself crazy just trying.

[He remembers whole years where he felt like he was losing his mind just trying to hold onto the shreds of what he knew.]

as long as you don't try to dig into it. and just--don't tell him that a person can just be...erased like that. okay?

[The world functions perfectly without you. Haha. The thought terrifies me.]

just be careful. please.

[voice]

[burntvideocassette]

Wh--?

[He very nearly asks why Tim shouldn't know that detail. At first, he cuts himself off because, yeah, it's probably one of those things that gets corrupted, so Tim shouldn't know it. It'll mess his head up the same way it did Jay's.]

[Then, the other implication sets in.]

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be...I'll be careful.

[He won't give Tim the details. That's for him to remember.]

[For him to remember.]

[Remember what?]

[Goddamnit. He'll watch the footage again later.]

Thanks. Really, thanks. I'm not used to...being on this side of things, I guess.

[Sure, he's kept secrets before, but those were temporary. This is different.]

[voice]

[punful]

[He can hear it when it clicks in Jay's mind. He knows too. If he doesn't remember the rest of it, he'll remember that much, at least.]

yeah. and...you, too. i appreciate the discretion.

[He can't help a quiet, relieved sigh. It seems like things have gone better than he expected, for once.]

[voice]

[burntvideocassette]

[Jay nods, before realizing the communicator won't pick it up.]

Yeah.

[If you asked Tim (or the viewers), discretion isn't exactly his strong suit. But this time, he's got enough evidence to know this stuff is dangerous. This is different. He's the one with the information, not the one desperately trying to pry it out of other people.]

[He's still curious. He still wants to know how this happened, even though the majority of the evidence points to Sans's bullshit being pretty far removed from his and Tim's.]

[But now's not the right time to ask.]

You ever manage to get that nap?

[voice]

[punful]

[He chuckles a little.]

yeah, heh. sleeping is the one thing i almost never have trouble with.